Current:Home > FinanceThis mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title. -ProgressCapital
This mother-in-law’s outrageous request went viral. Why 'grandmas' are rejecting that title.
View
Date:2025-04-19 05:26:14
Are terms like "grandma" and "grandpa" a thing of the past? Some baby boomers apparently hope so.
Earlier this month, a woman went viral on TikTok for sharing a video about how her mother-in-law doesn't want to be called "grandma." Her suggestions instead? Mama paired with her last name − so Mama Smith, for example. This was quickly vetoed as her son and daughter-in-law pointed out this would likely end up shortened to mama, which did not sit well with the child's mom. The mother-in-law's next pick? "Queen mother."
"To be fair, I think she's watching 'Bridgerton,' so that may have played a role," the TikToker said in a video with 1.9 million views, adding her mother-in-law said it could be shortened to "queenie." She and her husband coaxed her mother-in-law out of "queenie" and got her to eventually agree to "G-ma."
The comments were flooded with users who lamented they've fielded similar requests from their parents and in-laws: "My father seriously wanted to be called 'your honor;' "My mom wanted mom-mom 'because I'm their mom's mom.' No. Hard no;" "My (mother-in-law) just wanted Mama. I have never laughed at someone so hard." And recent data also speaks to that trend.
In August, Preply surveyed 1,500 Americans across all 50 states and found, "The baby boomer generation is … opting for nicknames that resonate more with their vibrant spirit and sense of individuality."
The most-popular alternatives for grandma include nicknames like "Gigi," "Bibi" and "Momo;" while the most-popular grandpa alternatives include options like "G-pa" and "Grandude."
Boomers aren't the first generation to shake up traditional titles, but experts say their quest to reinvent what they're called as grandparents shows how many feel about aging and entering their golden years.
Why do people not want to be called 'grandma' or 'grandpa'?
Erik Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, speculates there could be multiple reasons why baby boomers are opting to forgo being called "grandma" and "grandpa," including a denial of getting older.
It's also possible that, instead of denying their age, they more so don't want to seem old-fashioned or see themselves in the same light as their own grandparents.
Also, in a culture that emphasizes embracing the authentic self, new grandparents may just want to feel unique.
"People end up acting in relatively predictable ways, even when they're trying to strive for individuality and uniqueness," Anderson says.
Sometimes there could be a more sinister motivation. A grandmother wanting to be called "mama," for instance, may want to usurp control of a grandchild from their mother by going by a similar title.
"People should have the freedom to be addressed by whatever they would like, but again, it has to be something too that's not duplicating what already exists or infringes on the parents," psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says. "It could be a power and control issue. (Or) it could just be not being aware of how that could impact the parent."
Furious at your parents for aging?You're not alone.
What if a grandparent wants to be called something outrageous?
So what should parents do if a grandparent wants to be called something truly outrageous? Anderson and Sarkis agree that, while it's generous to let a grandparent select their title, ultimately, the child's parents get final approval.
"The family with the young children gets to make those decisions, or at least has a little more leeway or rights than grandma or grandpa," Anderson says, adding that parents setting boundaries also sets a healthy example for their children.
How will you look when you're 80?A new TikTok filter predicts Gen Z's future wrinkles, and insecurities, in a viral trend
Sarkis says it's important to be firm, yet compassionate, toward grandparents who insist on an inappropriate title, while still explaining your reasons for rejecting their request.
"You just say, 'Hey, that name, well, we don't want to confuse the baby, so how about we come up with another name?' " Sarkis says. "People have the right to come up with a name that they find appropriate for them, but the parent also has the right to say that that's not OK with them."
If a grandparent does come up with a nickname that both they and the child's parents like, then it can be a good way of allowing the grandparent to feel empowered as they step into their new role as grandma − or g-ma or whatever they want to call it.
"That freedom of being able to choose what you want to be called, there's a lot of power in that," Sarkis says. "For some people, they just don't identify with certain names for grandparents, and that's OK."
Melissa Gilbert:'Little House on the Prairie' star on why she ditched Botox, embraced aging
veryGood! (64)
Related
- The FTC says 'gamified' online job scams by WhatsApp and text on the rise. What to know.
- Cameron Diaz denies feuding with Jamie Foxx on 'Back in Action' set: 'Jamie is the best'
- Stock up & Save 42% on Philosophy's Signature, Bestselling Shower Gels
- Xfinity hack affects nearly 36 million customers. Here's what to know.
- Vance jokes he’s checking out his future VP plane while overlapping with Harris at Wisconsin airport
- About Morocoin Cryptocurrency Exchange
- Horoscopes Today, December 20, 2023
- Live updates | Talks on Gaza cease-fire and freeing more hostages as Hamas leader is in Egypt
- American news website Axios laying off dozens of employees
- Robot dogs, e-tricycles and screen-free toys? The coolest gadgets of 2023 aren't all techy
Ranking
- Euphoria's Hunter Schafer Says Ex Dominic Fike Cheated on Her Before Breakup
- Will Chick-fil-A open on Sunday? New bill would make it required at New York rest stops.
- New York Gov. Kathy Hochul signs controversial legislation to create slavery reparations commission
- Civil rights groups file federal lawsuit against new Texas immigration law SB 4
- North Carolina trustees approve Bill Belichick’s deal ahead of introductory news conference
- Southwest will pay a $140 million fine for its meltdown during the 2022 holidays
- Tom Schwartz’s Holiday Gift Ideas Will Get You Vanderpumped for Christmas
- Here's why your North Face and Supreme gifts might not arrive by Christmas Day
Recommendation
US appeals court rejects Nasdaq’s diversity rules for company boards
Iceland volcano erupts weeks after thousands evacuated from Reykjanes Peninsula
15 Celeb-Approved White Elephant Gifts Under $30 From Amazon That Will Steal The Show
Save 65% on Peter Thomas Roth Retinol That Reduces Wrinkles and Acne Overnight
Jury finds man guilty of sending 17-year-old son to rob and kill rapper PnB Rock
Tom Schwartz’s Holiday Gift Ideas Will Get You Vanderpumped for Christmas
93-year-old vet missed Christmas cards. Now he's got more than 600, from strangers nationwide.
Rumer Willis Reveals Her Daughter’s Name Is a Tribute to Dad Bruce Willis